The Centrifugal Birthing Machine (US 3,216,423)

Day 001 · Oct 6, 2026 · Filed under: Solutions Seeking Problems

The Centrifugal Birthing Machine

Patent No.: US 3,216,423 A
Filed: Jan 15, 1963 · Granted: Nov 9, 1965
Inventors: George B. Blonsky & Charlotte E. Blonsky (filed as individuals)
Status: Expired — free for anyone to build. Please don't.

Patent drawings from US 3,216,423: side views of the tilted stretcher (Figs. 4 and 5) and a top view of a woman strapped to the stretcher on the circular turntable (Fig. 1) — FIG. 1, 4 & 5 — US 3,216,423, Sheets 1 and 4

What it claims

Officially, it's an “Apparatus for Facilitating the Birth of a Child by Centrifugal Force.” The mother is strapped to a stretcher on a large rotating turntable, with her head near the center and her body pointing outward. The turntable spins, and the centrifugal force helps push the baby through the birth canal, adding to the mother's own effort. The patent lays this out across 14 claims.

What it actually is

A merry-go-round for labor. A motor, a giant spinning platform, a woman strapped to it, and total confidence that the answer to one of medicine's oldest problems is spin faster.

Why, though

The inventors argued that women who got plenty of physical exertion had what they needed for a quick delivery, and those who didn't could use some help from physics. It's peak mid-century thinking: a deeply human problem, solved with heavy machinery. The patent office agreed it was new. Nobody seems to have asked whether it was a good idea.

Verdict: 5 out of 5 dizzy obstetricians.

Source: US3216423A on Google Patents · Tags: medical, childbirth, 1960s, centrifuges