https://shitpeoplepatent.com/ One real patent a day. We didn't make these up. Somebody filed them. en-us https://shitpeoplepatent.com/posts/escape-ladder-coffin.htmlhttps://shitpeoplepatent.com/posts/escape-ladder-coffin.html Fri, 09 Oct 2026 08:00:00 -0700 Patently Spooky, Part 1. In 1868 the U.S. Patent Office granted a patent for a coffin with a ladder, a bell, and a tube to the surface, in case you weren't done yet. Climb out. Or ring. https://shitpeoplepatent.com/posts/hiccup-zapping-cup.htmlhttps://shitpeoplepatent.com/posts/hiccup-zapping-cup.html Thu, 08 Oct 2026 08:00:00 -0700 In 2006 the U.S. Patent Office granted a patent for a cup that runs an electric current across your face to cure hiccups. Two metals. Tap water. One very surprised sip. https://shitpeoplepatent.com/posts/self-paddling-machine.htmlhttps://shitpeoplepatent.com/posts/self-paddling-machine.html Wed, 07 Oct 2026 08:00:00 -0700 In 2001 the U.S. Patent Office granted a patent for a hand-cranked machine that paddles your own backside. Fourteen claims. Folds flat. Ships anywhere. https://shitpeoplepatent.com/posts/centrifugal-birthing-machine.htmlhttps://shitpeoplepatent.com/posts/centrifugal-birthing-machine.html Tue, 06 Oct 2026 08:00:00 -0700 In 1965 the U.S. Patent Office granted a patent for spinning a woman in labor on a turntable until the baby comes out. Fourteen claims. Detailed drawings. Zero hesitation.