Patently Spooky, Part 1. In 1868 the U.S. Patent Office granted a patent for a coffin with a ladder, a bell, and a tube to the surface, in case you weren’t done yet. Climb out. Or ring.
In 2006 the U.S. Patent Office granted a patent for a cup that runs an electric current across your face to cure hiccups. Two metals. Tap water. One very surprised sip.
In 2001 the U.S. Patent Office granted a patent for a hand-cranked machine that paddles your own backside. Fourteen claims. Folds flat. Ships anywhere.
In 1965 the U.S. Patent Office granted a patent for spinning a woman in labor on a turntable until the baby comes out. Fourteen claims. Detailed drawings. Zero hesitation.